$$$

I thought yesterday I spent a lot of money, dropping over $100 at my local Whole Foods (the perils of shopping on a hungry stomach at a place I don’t often visit), but today I spent $5,000! Yikes. I’ve been meaning to buy my IRA for 2009 and all of a sudden I realized the deadline was fast approaching. But it’s for a good cause (old me) and I had it saved away.

Thankful Friday - Thursday

Decided today was a good day to act as a stand in for my thankful Friday – thought I’d describe my morning and the goodness in it. I woke up this morning tired as I’ve had some guilt issues weighing on me. I’ve been doing good with shifting my mindset, but it doesn’t happen overnight. Thank goodness for therapy to keep me on task – it’s like having my own personal trainer – especially needed when you hit that wall part way through.



So I wake up and am tired. But as I lay there for a moment, I’m enjoying the sunlight streaming in – yay spring! And enjoy my crisp new sheets (I’m a sheet-a-holic) that are just absolutely gorgeous and feel great too! And I’ve got my little love muffins snuggled up in bed with me. Although once I wake up, Winston is on me to feed him (and this after having an enema yesterday – him not me, and yes he’s a cat – go figure). Up I get and the being-a-morning-person kicks in. I’m still an hour off my schedule (waking up at 7 instead of 6 – damn daylight savings), but still take my time getting ready, tidying the living room, getting the recycling ready for pick up and finishing up my taxes. I even enjoyed a lounge on the couch watching an episode of Chuck while eating my cranberry-corn pancakes.



My wait for the bus was enjoyable as it was sunny and dry and no standing in the rain waiting and getting soaked. Yay sun! And then on the bus I get back into a new book I started about Eleanor of Aquitaine, little knowing that my “tv show” was about to start. Half reading, half looking out the window, and half listening to the conversations on the bus (don’t check my math), my attention is drawn to the latter. There is an old man with a cane on one side of the bus facing a raggedy man on the other side of the bus. They kind of know each other. The raggedy man is 3 years sober, as of March 5th. And the old man I can’t tell whether he is playing dumb really well, or is just ignorant of certain things. Driving up Mass Ave, and the bus suddenly lurches and the driver slams on the horn. There’s a bicyclist that cut in front and at the sound of the horn, he turns in his seat and gives the driver the finger and starts yelling at him. And then proceeds to go through a red light. Well the conversation between the driver, the old guy, and the 3-years sober guy was entertaining. The funniest part was the old man saying that the bicyclist waived at the driver, but only with the middle finger so what does that mean? The three of them were just characters. The old man even asked the bus driver if heard an irish rogue.



And then the calm waiting at the subway stop and the cello player is there again. Sitting in the dark underground, with no conversations around me, reading my book and listening to some sonata – just a great way to start the day.



Sometimes my commute can seem long and I wish I worked closer to home, but other times I do really enjoy the journey. And after all these years, there are the regulars you start recognizing on the trip – from the drivers to the fellow passengers. Needless to say, bus tv beats car radio any day in my book.

Linked

I’ve caved. Social networking has got me, at least for the moment. I finally joined facebook last year after my own family started harassing me (my sibilings). And it was, well, not really my cup of tea. I try to get on once a month, but usually it’s longer and I haven’t updated my profile.
But LinkedIn is another story. Again, didn’t really want to engage but had to set up an account a few months back so that I could post a comment to another comment on a blog posting I had at work. Follow all that? Long story short, my name was there but no info. And I’d get a few people who would find me and ask to be linked. I was up to 17 yesterday.



And then I realized that it’s beneficial for me to network better and this is an easy forum. So I took a breather from other work and started asking folks to be linked. Not my favorite thing to do – I’m horrible at hailing cabs. Well, this morning I’m up to 59. And I have to say I’m much more interested in my colleagues (LinkedIn) than old friends and acquaintances (facebook). Don’t know why, maybe because after one or two folks I check to see what they’re up to, I really don’t need to know what someone had for breakfast that day who I can barely remember from high school. Although I do have to say I just stumbled onto messages on my wall the other day of folks wishing me a Happy Birthday – from over a month ago. That was nice.



But LinkedIn is like snooping in a friends medicine cabinet while you’re over for dinner. You break bead with them but you wonder about the other stuff. Turns out that, one, more people remember me than I give them credit for – shouldn’t project there. Just because I have a horrible memory doesn’t mean others do, even if it’s been a few years since we’ve worked together. And two, my goal of targeted connections may have been too high. I was thinking, 500 friends, I don’t think I have 500 friends (I probably do if I really sit down and remember all the different chapters of my life), but 500 colleagues, piece of cake. I mean, look how many emails I’ll get in a given day. My old boss, who is very good at networking and knows everyone, she has “500+” listed. I thought, I can do that. Well, I think I can, but it’ll take more work. I already went through the easy connections from old jobs and school. Now I have to search each person. A little more time intensive. I think for now I’ll just work on cracking three digits for now.



And I even found out that one of the engineers I’m working with on a project went to the same undergrad as I did. I can’t remember if we already figured this out before – slight déjà vous.



Also, I have to post, at lunch today, I was walking back from having lunch on the common with a friend. We were both kefeltzing about our lives but the sun helped put it all in perspective, at least for me. On my way back I’m stuck behind this group of young kids strolling along in front of Macy’s. There’s a new twist on an old style. I really wish I had my cell phone on me, I would have snapped a picture. All the guys were wearing their pants belted below the bum, but above the knees. I really don’t understand the physics of how those things stay on. But you could really tell where the pants were because they were all wearing shorter t-shirts. Regular style instead of the super big, baggy type that would go down to their knees almost. So I got to stare at all these butts in front of me. The layers they had on while working your way up was jeans, belt, about 6” of boxers covering the bum and then the t-shirt started. It took me aback after I realized what I was looking at. Gotta love spring in Beantown!

Stalking Lessons?

I’ve been known to take my time with projects, some may even call it procrastinating. I’d like to think it’s a long gestation period. What am I talking about? Back in my undergrad years I had a professor who said that he knew I would start my own business one day. That was when I was studying engineering. And then in grad school I had a professor who thought I should start my own business. That was for a business class. I half believed them and half scoffed at the idea. As I’ve shifted careers and employers, I would mull the idea around but always put it back on the shelf. Frankly, I’m not a big fan of business development (ironic as that’s what my job has started to morph into), and yet without customers, there is no business. No income. No health insurance. No security. So that’s where I always got stuck.
Well, last fall a business idea popped into my head. It was so brilliant I was afraid someone would beat me to the market and I remember having a sleepless night about what to do next. Except it was just a rough idea – I was missing a few key components that would make it work. I couldn’t quite figure it out. It was still a blurry idea at best, kind of all over the place. So I pondered it some. And then someone else executed my idea! I had missed the boat. The repercussions (oh google, how I love that you know what word I’m trying to spell) of waiting too long.But I kept thinking about the idea. I realized that the new business that started up was in the same ball park but over in left field. My idea was a different approach to the market and frankly ballparks are really big, right? I knew I had something, potentially better. I’d run ideas by my brother while we waited for our plane home after visiting mom. I’d jot notes in the margins of my calendar on my commutes. I even googled possible company names out of curiosity. I’ve talked, vaguely, with friends in the industry about the idea. And time after time, I’ve had the idea reinforced by demands from clients and work.


And yet I’ve been dragging my feet this last week. Why? Well, three things:

1. Ownership. I need to start this up on the side, hobby style, as it won’t be profitable for awhile (actually that’s part of what I’m still trying to figure out). But I just reread my paperwork I signed for my job and they get to own everything I create. It’s really geared towards the software side of things since that’s what we do, but it’s broad enough I think my idea would fall under it. I’m not competing with them for business so have no worries about working on the side (plus I won’t be bringing in revenue at first).
2. New skill. I have the bulk of the knowledge but need to either learn a new skill or hire/bring someone on that does. More likely I’ll learn it. Which means a lot of learning. Not sure if I’m up for that. Old dog/new tricks kicks in here.

3. Timing. Second to the market is a harder position than first to the market. I think this could be better, but it will take more work to bring customers. Maybe I have missed the boat. If not, the window left has got to be small. Pressure is on and if I go fully after this idea, it will be a time sink.


But the thing is, this is the business for me. As well as I can tell of the unknown that is ahead of me. Now’s the time. And I’d hate to disappoint those old professors. So I’m not giving up on the idea yet. And that’s where the stalking comes in. I’ve been mulling and thinking and sleeping on the idea and it’s gone left and right and zig-zagged all over the place. But I realize that there is no reason to reinvent the wheel. I know of a great business model in a different field. And I think the person who created the business lives in the Boston area. So there are a few things I can work on for this wonderful idea before I run into the first two obstacles listed above. One is flushing out a business plan and understanding what challenges truly lay ahead. What the best approach is and learning the missteps of others. I just need to get a meeting with this person. I’ve never met her, our circles don’t overlap in any way professionally. I do have a way to email her, but haven’t figured out a way to distinguish my email from the thousands of others she gets weekly. In a way it kind of feels like I’m at the beginning of a potential relationship with a guy. You know, when you do that quasi-virtual stalking hoping to stumble on a new photo or something. Writing this, I think the best idea is just polite persistence – for the meeting, not the boy.
So my homework – buy domain names and get an interview. Not expensive although a bit challenging. Apologies for the vagueness, but the idea is so brilliant I’m worried someone will lift the idea off this post. I just know my readers are malicious like that! We’ll see where I am in a month. Hopefully my stalking will pay off. And I do think this is more than just this month’s flavor. Maybe it’s spring talking.
Cartoons courtesy of www.toothpastefordinner.com. One of the guys I dated got me hooked on the site. And then I forgot about it (and can’t remember which guy)!

Isopod

Did anyone catch the latest This American Life, #404 Enemy Camp? I was listening to the podcast this afternoon at work and Act II moved me to look up the image of an isopod parasite. It looks like a little pill bug and lives in the water. It swims into the mouth of a snapper and when in there eats the fish’s tongue but just the tongue. And then it turns around, facing front, and hunkers down where the tongue used to be. So if you open up the mouth of the fish you now see a “tongue” with eyes. The snapper and the isopod go on with a symbiotic relationship sharing the meals caught. It’s so strange and yet so familiar. Like something on the sci fi channel. But it’s really over on the nature channel. It puts you in your place. “Parasites are the most successful life form on earth.”Needless to say, I'm keeping my mouth shut when swimming in natural water ways from here on. Unfortunately I can’t get iTunes to download more than two Radiolab podcasts (see Act III which is really clever too).

Ode to Red Line

Oh red line how I love your service. Your frequency and cleanliness surpass all your siblings. You may be crowded at times but you offer up the best chance of a seat over all the others. And the ambiance you provide at your stations does not go unnoticed. From the blind banjo player with his seeing eye dog at Porter to the crazy electric guitar player with his stocking hat at Alewife to the occasional klezmer at Harvard. A quiet crazy.I rode the orange line last night and it paled in comparison. I would have thought I was stuck in a little corner of hell if I had to take orange every day instead of you, oh glorious red. But instead, I found it funny. The harmonica player who at first glance was providing a pleasant accompaniment while waiting for the train that would just not arrive. Pleasant until you realize he’s looping and it was a two stanza loop. Over and over, the same two lines. But the train arrived and a seat was found. And just as the doors shut on the crowd packed in, a last minute addition arrived. An addition that could not be seen through the huddled masses hanging on to the subway bars. But could be heard. Over and over, screaming the same thing. The little boy was insistent.
And he did not wear out after a few stops like the Cambridge kids will on your wonderful red line. He kept on going and going. What he was saying, I do not know. I do not speak orange line speak. At first it sounded like “I wanna go back” which then morphed into sounding like “I wanna go bed” (which might have been me projecting what I thought he really needed during this melt down). In the end I think he was saying “I want the gun back”. Which I would never think of on you, safe red line, but on orange…
And, oh glorious red, that was funny on its own. But what topped it was that the young gentleman standing in front of me who was trying to read caught my eye. On you, quiet red, the commuters respect the silence and there may be the occasional eye contact. But on orange, the awkward conversations pop up and he says, “This reminds me of that German commercial for condoms.” What do you say to that? For me, the first thing that popped into my head was, “How does it end?” It ends with a tired father and toddler having a tantrum with a caption that says, “don’t you wish you used acme condoms?”
Oh red line, how I missed you last night. And although I enjoyed the dinner with friends, and the old camaraderie. The late night of girl talk before my sleep over, I missed your smooth ride in this morning. The green line may be young and hip, but you are old and wise. And I greatly prefer the slow and steady type that gets you there faster than the stop-go jerkiness of the young. My empty stomach missed your soft ride.
I look forward to our reunion tonight. Your familiar riders and the familiar crazies. Thank you for getting me home safely and quietly each night. And for getting me into work without demanding my attention. I appreciate your understated grace. Thank you red line for being my line.

Kittens!

Last night, I swung by Andrea’s quickly before going over to Marie’s for dinner.

Andrea’s fostering three baby kittens and the mommy. OMG! I forget how cute they can be and they were just bundles of energy running around and tussling.

Sooo cute and tiny. Only 3 weeks old.
The mama looked very much like Walter (but completely different personality) and she was a baby herself – only 9 months.

I almost left with a few tucked in a pocket, except Walter and Winston would be so mad! I think they would eat a kitten out of spite.