As I've been getting up to speed, I've been relying on my second in charge. He's the only one who knows the projects. The other staff are brand new. He had been interim director until I was hired.it was a new dynamic for me, as he had also applied for the position but is just to young and inexperienced. So some delicate maneuvering but I did get the sense he was burnt out and dissatisfied with his growth. And it was just a matter of time. We worked well together, but last week he gave his notice. I was hoping I'd have had a bit more time, to build up the staff and get up to speed. Not the best timing but not a complete surprise.
The surprise, again not to wax on and on about my time off, is how I'm handling the situation. My earlier me would be in crisis mode since it's going to be very bumpy for awhile. There is a huge backlog of projects and our clients have been frustrated with the turn over in our group and the lack of continuity in knowing projects. And before there was always overlap on projects of some sort. Now there will be a big gap. I've inherited projects every job I went too. This is my fourth time and it's by far the hardest because there is very little framework for capturing and recording the project history. It's the worst I've seen. Which is what I love creating - systems and processes and tools. But, in the meantime, it's going to be rough.
Normally, in my head, I'd be oscillating from everything is going to be fine, to, OMG, OMG it's going to be bad. I still have moments of the OMG thought, but I'm seeing it more as just im having the thought things are going to be bad, but seeing it from a distance and letting it flow on by. It's nice being the continual state of it will be all good and I've got this.
Also, my old instinct would be too just throw myself into the problem and work longer hours and focus all my energy on solving the problem by dropping other stuff. And I'm surprised to see that I'm figuring out what to add to my schedule to help me through this time. I will be working more but not at the expense of everything else and I've been managing my schedule. Examples,
1. Commute. I started with thinking, maybe I should drive in instead of public transportation. It would save me an extra 60-90 minutes and be less stressful when it comes to the weather. But the cost. I could afford it, but it would effect my long term financial plans. Instead, I negotiated, with myself, that if I drive in, this would free up time I don't feel I have, to make it to the gym in the morning. So I'm looking into seeing if I can get bumped up the waiting list for parking.
2. Gym. I realized that I'm going to need more energy and support for my mental health during this trying period. And since I discovered that a good cardio work out does wonders of stabilizing my mental, I want to make sure I work it into my schedule moving forward. It will be tricky but pairing it with the cost of parking I can use my guilt of paying for driving in to keep me on track with going to the gym in the mornings.
3. Friend Network. I had caught up last week, with an old coworker who works in a similar role at MIT. We hadn't seen each other for a few years and after comparing notes on work stuff, caught up on life stuff and have tons of shared interests. She had suggested we get together for something, and the initial reaction that flashed through my head was, I won't have time for this, I need to say no. And quickly another voice put that in check. I had been tired and low energy from work and just spending an hour with her and talking about the topics we did, totally energized and recharged me. So, I then went from thinking of saying no, to scheduling recurring get together with her, to thinking on my way home, who else should I schedule to see that would also help recharge me. I have another work friend I see monthly that is similar and was trying to think if there was anyone else.
4. CBT Coach. I had seen this really good therapist during the end of my last job. She went on maternity break and then I was on my hiatus. I asked to be put on her waiting list since I just found her sessions so useful. It was less like therapy and more like having a life or career coach. The sessions are a half hour. I pick one issue, share the problems. She listens and then reframed and provides me with tools on how to move forward. And it worked time and time again. It was like getting a monthly tune-up on my thinking. Friday I got call that there were some openings. I haven't been able to connect with the doctors office yet, but initially I thought, it's going to be an appointment in the middle of the day, I can't take it, to thinking, it doesn't have to be first thing in the morning, I can consider some other times and try to make it work.
5. Orienteering. Last spring I had reached out to help run an event in my local park. It's been on hold for awhile and then last week I was contacted by the meet director to coordinate. I'm shadowing him to see what goes into the event so in the future I can run the event. At first, I thought I should drop this commitment, I won't have time, and then I figured no, I love orienteering and it will be a healthy break from work stuff and not beyond my work load of things I can do. It's not that big a time commitment. So I'm continuing with organizing the meet and made a conscious decision to try to go to as many meets on the weekends when the season starts up again in a month.
6. Weekends. I was planning on heading up to NH to visit Dad and Barbro and get some blueberry picking in. And the news hit and I thought, no I should stay home and get stuff taken care of. But again, I was like, work life balance. I won't go up every weekend, but it's nice going up to visit. We're always outside hiking or canoeing so I get some good vitamin D and fresh air. And it's a quiet schedule. It's important I use my weekends to take a breather and get out of my head thinking about work stuff.
All of these things just fell in my lap last week and I realized I was formulating my support system for getting me through this next stage of work. I decided, instead of passively letting this happen, to think about what else I should put together to be proactive and have a plan of attack. I was doing that in detail on the work logistics and transferring knowledge and projects but what about in my personal life. Here's my initial list I came up with of some more stuff I should spend time on:
1. Cooking. The healthier I eat and the less I have to think about meals, the better. I need to spend some time developing a schedule of meals and snacks to make each week. Half the challenge is meal planning.
2. Outfits. Same thing. The better I feel and less I have to think about what to wear, the better. This I'm almost there. I'm loving my closet of summer clothes and it's a fraction of what I had years ago. I've come a long way. Big gap right now are flat work shoes. So just need to find a second pair and all good.
3. Cat time. The more I make sure I cuddle and play with my W&W every day the better all around.
4. Knitting Time. I don't have anything on the needles. Just stuck on fixing old projects which isn't my favorite. So I'm picking out a new project to work on. The act of knitting is very calming for me and gives me a nice pick me up of accomplishment.
5. Cleaning and Clutter. A peaceful house that is my sanctuary is what I need. Again, I'm almost there. I've learned to keep clutter (incomplete projects and deferred decisions) confined to my loft. I'm slowly whittling away at the pile. And I've gotten into the habit of a Saturday morning quick clean and a week day tidy up. Just need to keep on schedule, especially in the summer with all the fur balls that materialize daily.
6. Gardening. This one is interesting. I think I figured out I find it calming and rejuvenating to garden in my back yard and stressful and tiring to garden in my front yard. The front yard needs a lot of help and is on public display. It's overwhelming. I'm having a landscape architect that was recommended to come out and see about modifying the design to make the front garden lower maintenance. But that won't happen until the fall or next spring (well, first we have to get the price tag). So for right now, I'm working on letting the front yard not effect me - it's just one summer and spend time in the back yard guilt free. Although I just realized I might need to re think this one. I just got a notice that mosquitoes in town tested positive for west Nile disease and they recommend not going out at dawn or dusk which is my ideal time to garden - time wise and temperature wise.
Well, that's all for now. I'm off to grab a quick bite before going to my Saturday morning Tai Chi class. It's been awhile, and I don't want to miss it.
No comments:
Post a Comment