I remember talking with a few coworkers a couple of years back and it was identified that men do a much better job of setting a goal and focusing on how to achieve it. This helps them prioritize all the items that get thrown their way. There’s pros and cons of course but this translates to men achieving milestones and women making sure all the other important-but-not-milestone things get done. You get bogged down in the day to day tasks that don’t necessarily move you forward, professionally or even being personally fulfilled and feeling a sense of accomplishment.
I’ve been trying to keep this in mind as I continuously develop my professional style of working. The biggest accomplishment with work I’ve had is actually another word of advice I’ve been following - don’t let work stress you out. Putting it all in perspective. It’ll get done and it’s just work - not the end of the world. Starting this new job, I kept that forefront and center and it’s worked out marvelously. Most days are non-stop go and an endless barrage of meetings and deadlines and deliverables and questions to be answered. But I juggle it all and manage expectations and at the end of the day by the time I get home work has been left at work and I’m able to focus on personal stuff. I’m in much better spirits, have less grey hair, eat much healthier, get more personal stuff done and enjoy my job so much more. I’m also able to get a lot more done because I’m not stressing - it takes a lot out of you to stress AND try to get stuff done.
I’ve been applying the milestone approach at work. It’s a struggle as there is so much stuff that gets dropped that I want to pick up, but I’m learning to let things fall that aren’t my responsibility. However, I’m constantly looking at opportunities to move us ahead and in the long run that works out better for everyone. And the great thing is that I already got a rave review at my 6-month mark so think this new style is working.
But that’s not what I was wanting to report on. I was feeling absolutely bogged down and no time to get everything done. I sat down and looked at the numbers. I’m at work about 9 hours a day. My commute is about 2-3 hours a day. I sleep usually 8 hours each night. What’s that so far? 20 hours. That leaves me with 4 hours a day to get everything else done. Figure an hour in the morning and another at night for getting ready for work or bed and eating. And I’m left with 2 spare hours to cook decent meals, meeting up with friends, relaxing, volunteering, committee meetings and basically having a life. I took a look at the work commitment and that wasn’t going to change. Sleep hours are never to be touched! Commuting could be reduced in half but would cost me about $3,000 extra a year - you’ve heard me rant about this before here. So really I was left with maximizing that precious 2 spare hours a day.
On average, I have at least 3 evening commitments a week. Either from committee meetings, drinks with friends, events I’ve been invited to, etc. Looking at that I realized it was the committees I was on that was stressing me out really. I am on three committees in my town. And I’m a chair of a committee that is in my field (work related). I sat down and had a think about what I want to get out of the committees. What’s my end goal? Well, for the work related committee - it’s just good PR and has served me well professionally. Good way to get my name out there and associated with sustainability to a broad group. So I was going to focus on that, moving forward. There are two committees with my town that are building related. Really one is a sub-committee of the other as the school project we’re building is so big that it warranted its own meeting time. For both of these, there isn’t too much extra time needed outside of the committee meetings, so not too bad. In the end I get my name on bronze plaques! I have my name on two public buildings already. My goal is three, so am almost there.
The last committee was the one that was bogging me down. It’s an energy group that’s composed of town officials and a few citizens. We’re constantly working on projects to make the town greener and use less energy. Exciting work but I realized I really can’t commit unlimited time on all the work that could be done. I had to pick something and let that be my goal. I had come across Green Revolving Funds and although challenging, realized that if I could get this set up and running successfully this would be something I could be very proud of. And with that, I’ve been less stressed because I’m not over committing myself and am able to have something to help me evaluate things I want to take on.
I feel like I’m just reaching my equilibrium finally after years of oscillating and trying out new “diets”. Now, if you threw a new twist in like family and children I’m not sure how this approach would work. If I’d be out of whack and need realignment, but have a good basis or back at square one. Does make me wonder how others manage all the things that are thrown at them - both male and female.
