Is it time to say goodbye?

Quick post here before I head off to a meeting, but wanted to jot down the question I have been wrestling with recently. Whether or not to keep Richard longer? So the paper said that the Christmas tree collection occurs on your regular trash day of the week of 1/7. Well, that's this week. I had planned to denude the tree this past weekend but didn't have the heart and even ended up putting some additional recently found/created decorations on the tree.



Then last night, as I was heading home late in the evening, I turn the corner onto my street and there all up the block were several tossed Christmas trees on the curb. They hadn't been there in the morning, so it got me worried that the collection day wasn't my trash day (thursday) but the next day (tuesday). My initial instict was to quickly bring the tree out that night. But frankly it was about 9:30 pm, I hadn't had dinner yet, and taking the tree out wasn't as simple as taking the garbage out. I still had to take all the decorations off, the lights, double check I got all the decorations off, and then proceed to chop the tree to pieces before bringing it to the curb (don't forget Richard is fairly large and heavy and it took two grown people to bring him in). And then I would have to bind up all the branches and bring them out too, then clean up the fallen needles in the common area of my apartment so that I didn't leave a mess literally at the doorstep of my landlords. And, well, the thought just exhausted me. I just wanted to make a quick dinner, curl up on the couch, watch tv and knit (I'm so close to being done this wonderful caridgan, I can't wait - please let it fit the first time around).



So that's what I did. And as I sat, in the company of Richard I started wondering why I was listening to what other people were telling me to do. Shouldn't it be Richard and I who decided when to end the relationship and part our ways. I value friends and family's opinions but they didn't provide the final verdict, and especially not the local municipality. It was a private matter and should be decided upon in-house. Just because my city set a date for our departure, does that mean I should abide by it. I really like Richard. He's been a great companion, so big and warm and always welcoming me home in the evening with a twinkle in his branches. And he's been good, actually great. Over the holidays, I was worried I would find him keeled over from the boys playing with him (the base isn't that large after all and he is tall and friendly). Or at the least completely dehydrated and on his last legs (again the boys use his water - he's very sharing like that). But no, both times I got back after a week away each time, he was good. Just how I had left him, patiently waiting for my return.



And this weekend, while I was cleaning up my holiday mess and he was standing by happy I was home, I noticed he was still in good health. He should have been on his last legs by now. It was exactly a month ago that I first met him and chopped him down. And was he dropping his needles? Not at all. In fact, even when pulling on the branches not a needle fell off. He's still in the peek of his health. And I've grown accustomed to his company. Frankly, I don't know what I will do with the space in the living room when he leaves - about 2/3's of the room will just be empty. So why rush into that situation? Why can't we spend some more time? Yes, I know it must end one day, in the next month or two (or three), but until then can't we be together. But when it does end, what do I do then. Where do I bring him? How do I bring him anywhere? It would be easiest to part ways this week, but is that the right decision? Am I short changing our situation?



Well, that's the question. The answer I don't know. We have until Thursday (well Wed night really - tomorrow night). I almost hope the pick up was today and I missed it. That would be the easiest.