Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Zen and Blind People

Summers are always so crazy I find and can't quite identify why. I guess people are more out and about so there are more social events. Anyways, I've been trying to keep work overload at bay and stay balanced there. I think I still am, but am teetering. Must be strong.



This last weekend, I participated in an intensive weekend long bootcamp with my yoga center. It was really good, but crazy. Less about physcially working out and more about finding your true-self and working through the behaviors, emotions, preconceptions and thoughts that we layer on everything. On my way to the second all day session on Sunday, I got rear-ended. No one hurt except for my little old plastic Saturn. I was good and didn't really think about it until I had to later in the day. Just put it away to address later. Of course later is now and I'm dealing with the possibility that the damage done exceeds the value of the car and that the folks who hit me would rather not go through the insurance company. No decisions made yet until I get hte final price quote - their ripping her open today to see the full extent of the damage. So now, I am feeling the pangs of being carless. On a technical note, in MA, I'm allowed a rental car, but frankly, I don't really need a car, I just like the idea of knowing that there is one there in case I need it.



Speaking of needing a car, take last night. I finally wrap things up at work - busy day, and I don't leave until 7 pm (however, I came in late since I was dealing with car stuff). Which means I don't get home until about 8 pm. Which means that I won't be picking up my food share of vegetables by 7 pm. I put the call in and there is no problem (it's at someones house, so hate to disturb them). I get home, and realize, I can't hop into the car. I finally am forced to bike to get the veggies. However, this summer, I haven't been as good and there's one reason or another that I've had to drive the past several weeks to pick up the produce. This time, there's no way around it unless I just forgo the pick up - which I did consider as I had barely touched the veggies from last week - they're running me over.



So I change, run downstairs to the basement and grab the bike. But I need to pump up the tires from half a year of not riding the thing. And then find the bike lamp I got for Christmas as by now it's almost dark. And then the stupid kick stand wouldn't go up and I couldn't remember the trick. I kick and kick and nothing. So end up taking it off by unscrewing parts - who really needs a kickstand anyways. I find out hte bike lamp has dead batteries and all my chargable batteries are uncharged so scrounge for 4 AAs. I finally get outside and am on the road when I realize that night has come, the temperatures have dropped and with the breeze I'm actually quite cold in a t-shirt. And of course it's started raining. And it's way after 8 now when I said I would pick up the veggies. That's when I just let it all go. It's amazing how those little things out of your control can spiral and cause me way more frustration then they should. It's all because I forgot I didn't have the car access anymore and hadn't planned on biking. The great part of the whole story was that the bike ride was a breeze (well almost) which was amazing as it's usually a chore going up the hills. The yoga really pays off - I must have some muscle and endurance built up. Not that you can actually see any.



So I found my zen. I keep trying to reconnect to that when I find I'm feeling overwhelmed. My biggest obsticle is time - it turns a normal situation into a stressful situation and really shouldn't. Speaking of which, I keep seeing the budhist monks walking down my street every now and then. It turns out there is a little temple (or what not) one block over. So that explains that. Now the only other thing that I've finally noticed is that there seems to be a lot of blind people around too. I would have to say that I've seen at least 10 different folks over the past year - both with the canes and the dogs. I've always noticed them but thought nothing of it and it hit me today when I saw two blind people on my bus today (who didn't know each other I dont' think) and realized the density numbers are a bit high. So that's a mystery.

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