Lists

Decided to break today’s post up – here’s part 1:


I don’t know when, but awhile back I swore off lists. They were providing more harm than good as they just reminded me of all the things I hadn’t gotten around to doing. I still occasionally jot down a grocery list here or a short Christmas list there, but generally rely on the age old premise, “if it’s important enough, I’ll remember it”, which doesn’t always hold true.
Well, last week, I bought a planner. You know those old fashioned paper books with the weeks printed out. I used to use one for school all the time, and grew up with the one from the Met or MFA by the family phone. My therapist recommended I start planning out my days – both work and life. I think the point was to see that I had unrealistic expectations of what I could accomplish and come to some middle ground and not be so hard on myself. So Thursday, I ran by the cool office/art and craft/stationary/play store. It’s a wonderful store. Just tons and tons of stuff stuffed onto the shelves. It’s a little chaotic but you find the strangest things. I found a pack of blue books for $1.49 and had to restrain buying them. The calendar I got was fun to sift through (and surprisingly not on sale considering it’s almost a quarter of the way into the year). It has the time zone map and international calling codes (although UAE is not listed) and a list of the birthstones. But it was the clothing size equivalents that made me chuckle. The smallest size in Women’s Clothing – 8! The biggest size in Women’s Shoes – 8.5! I’m off the charts apparently. Strangely enough, I have trouble scheduling out beyond a day. So Friday night I planned out my Saturday. I did half the stuff that was scheduled, but other stuff that wasn’t written down. I didn’t get around to doing my taxes and fling away the pile of papers that have accumulated. Nor dropping my bike off at the shop to get a tune up. Nor dropping off my dry cleaning that I’ve had in a bag for a year now it seems. I did make it to the dealer and now have my key programmed. It’s so strange to get into the car and drive away without ever taking out a key. I’ve driven those types of cars before. But this weekend, popping in and out of the car so often made it more real and strange.



Today I started the lists again. I’ve commandeered the January pages into lists: “To Do”, “Wish List”, “Errands”, “Projects”. They’re slow going strangely enough. I’m holding back writing it all down because I don’t want to freak myself out I guess. Apparently I have some split personality going. I do have to say it is fun crossing off accomplished tasks, even if a few at a time.