First Pay Check

I have to write a quick post about how nice it was yesterday when I swung by the atm to withdrawal my monthly spending budget. And seeing the balance... It was so nice to see that my first paycheck had been deposited and my account was back into that nice place. That place where I don't have to worry about money.  Something that is easy to take for granted after awhile when things are going well. Although it was stressful at the end of my Sabatical, worrying about money, I was always reminding myself how lucky I am. Not only do I have the safety net of immediate family, I have the safety net of extended family. Something many of my friends have neither of. Even so, one hates depending on others and asking for help. 

One thing I found interesting near the end, was when I was in the most need, it was the hardest to accept the generosity of others. Whereas, when I'm doing well, it's easier to accept the generosity. I guess it makes sense, because you feel like you're coming from a place of powerlessness. And it's harder to think you can reciprocate the generosity down the road. 

Looking back in my life, I've had these dips and peaks of cash flow as I went from working to grad school to working to time off. Although no one wants dips in cash flow, I found it was a useful way to recenter my spending and be more responsible with my middle class lifestyle. So many people experience what I momentarily experience, for their whole life and never get into that comfortable middle class living. 

I went through quite a few exercises over the last two years when it came to money and my spending. I tracked everything and one thing that opened my eyes was doing a six month review. I went back through my "miscellaneous" category (doesnt include groceries, car, cats, utilities and mortgage) and reviewed the spending. I divided things into three categories: necessities (like toothpaste), wanted and would buy again, wanted and wouldn't buy again. The necessities were about a quarter of my miscellaneous spending and interestingly, the things I wanted but didn't really need, over half I wouldn't have bought again. I started looking at why I bought the things in the first place and it helped me understand bad habits, the psychology wrapped up in "retail therapy" (which is not true - buying doesn't solve your issues), and how to shop smarter (some things turned out to be bad quality - I'd buy something similar again, but better quality). 

As a result of this exercise, I find I shop way less and when I have the urge to go shopping or to buy something I reflect on the why and if I can do without. I still make shopping snafus, but I learn from each mistake instead of holding on and ignoring the underlying issue. I've woken up to the way the media tries to sell us wants in the forms of needs. I used to love magazines but now I realize they are almost 100% advertisements to get us to buy stuff. Like this tool will make your life easier, or you're not a responsible home owner if you don't do this. It's even in the YouTube videos I watch and Netflix shows. 

But I'm growing learning. For example, I had a coupon for DSW and I need two types of shoes. I went to the store yesterday and found some decent options. It was quite a drive to the store and my old self would have made something work and not left empty handed. This time, I left without buying anything and learned that DSW hasn't really been a place I've found any good shoes in the last few years and maybe I need to identify other options that suit my needs better. I left the coupon on the shelf for someone else to use. 

One big thing that helps is having a bigger goal. A gift to my future self. The less I waste money now, the more comfortable I'll be later in life. For example, most of my coworkers drive to work because of where the office is, but the parking pass is several thousand dollars a year. Although it's a pain to get to work, I think, I'm "young" and can handle it now. I'll wait and buy the parking pass later when I don't have the luxury of being able to bike, etc. it's my gift to my future self. 

Which brings me to my final point. My take away from my time off is that I learned I really value my independence.  My goal is in seven years, I'll be in a position to retire. I don't want to retire, but I want to have paid off my mortgage and saved up enough to have the option. This means reshifting my thinking and looking at the bigger picture. Now the trick is to not fall in a world of frugality where you don't enjoy the here and now. But often the experiences are better than the stuff. And experiences can be free or inexpensive. It also means looking at diversification of income. I like to teach and am positioned to do that now. As I explore my new role I'm formulating an idea for a class that I hope will be something new, not in the market and aligns with my purpose of transforming the market. A nice win win. I learned from my last go around not to exclusively throw myself into my job but to have balance. 

Well, not such a quick post, but a good reminder that it's always good to step back and recenter your ways. I guess that means I'm going to start embracing New Years resolutions more as its a good place to refocus the habits.