Dinner Party Dilema

So I have an ucky taste in my mouth right now. I’m having a dinner party at the end of the month for a group of friends from my old work and a few college friends from out of town that over-lap with the group. We haven’t seen each other for ages and I thought I’d take the bull by the horns and organize an event for us to get together. Except it back-fired on me. Let me note here that my recent dinner party experience playing hostess consists of just two dinner parties over the past four years. So you can see how I haven’t figured this out yet. The first time took forever because I kept trying to find a time that worked for most people and it was impossible. I finally got a party arranged and in the end it was me and one other friend, her boyfriend and his roommate. It was a strange dinner. Not what I imagined.



The second one was a bit more successful. I just picked a date, invited a bunch of folks and a fraction showed up. It was a bit crowded (18), but worked. The benefit being that I knew that my ideal cut-off number is 14 (maybe pushing it to 16). I had thought my limitation was chairs – I had 18. I bought more plates and glasses and food. But the day of, found that, besides not being able to get the couch out of my living room which ended up looming up-ended in a corner of the room, the living room was not long enough to accommodate 18 for a sit down dinner (my dining room is the size of a small bathroom – hard to sit even four). So as the guests started arriving I still had the tables haphazardly arranged, trying to figure out how to make it work. Some of my engineering friends took charge and we used the hypotenuse of the room to squeeze everyone in. It was really tight, not pretty, but it worked.



This time I realized not everyone would be able to make it, so did the same thing and invited folks. I put an RSVP deadline and everything. I was going to have 16 be my absolute top cut off number. But what does that mean really? It means that for number 17 I have to say, sorry, but you can’t come. So knowing that I made 18 work, although uncomfortably, I let my top number move higher. Except now I’m up to 20+ and I just can’t figure out what to do. It doesn’t work. Even if I forgo the whole sit down dinner thing which I desperately want, my place isn’t big enough period. I have seating in my apartment for a single person who lives on her own. This was made super obvious just a few weeks ago when I was entertaining family and folks ended up on the floor. We were only 4 adults and one kid! That’s not good.



So this morning I started sending the emails. What do you write? Sorry but you don’t make the cut. It’s not personal. There was no way to phrase it nicely. Rejection sucks. Granted, it’s for folks who RSVPd after the RSVP date so I have the hostess law on my side. But that’s really just crap. What do I do? Do I proceed to send emails to folks who didn’t RSVP to tell them they can’t come in case they were thinking of it which is silly. Do I move to a bigger venue like a restaurant to accommodate everyone, which is also crazy. Do I start casing empty houses for sale in my neighborhood to see if I could break in and use the bigger place for the night? I’ve really gotten myself into a muddle.



And, I don’t know if the folks who RSVPd ages ago remember and actually show up. That would also suck. Do I factor that possibility in too? And how? And I’ve come down with a cold. And I leave town in two days to fly off to Abu Dhabi for a week jammed to the gill with meetings, only returning Friday, the day before the big dinner party. Part of me is really tempted to just cancel the whole thing as it’s just gotten bigger than me. Gotten away from me. But that’s the cold talking. I should take heart how far I’ve come over the years that I now have more than one friend and two random guests wanting to attend my party. That I have a great community of friends, and this is only a fraction of the group I could have invited. I just need to breath and realize that these things happen and people understand. If feathers get ruffled, they get ruffled. I’ve learned and will do it differently next time. If there is a next time. Not sure how, but I’d like to think I’m wiser for the experience. Ok, I need to go make a run to the drug store and buy me some drugs. It’ll be a whole new world this time as I really think I’ve learned how to swallow pills finally. Tons more options.



Added later: I made a quick run to Walgreens in a gap between conference calls this morning. Wasn’t dressed and was having trouble thinking what to wear. Then realized, just throw sneaks and a coat on and I’d be fine in my pjs – yoga pants and no bra. I ended up chickening out and did buy some cold pills but also bought the regular liquid stuff. I’m a bit worried I might be a light weight in the drug arena.