May Update

I’m trying to hold on to a minimum of one post per month, so here’s May, before the month ends.

 

Last weekend I spent a good chunk of it outside.  I had my veggie cooperative gardening in the morning and took home a bounty of early spring harvest.  I got to harvest the spinach and took home a head of lettuce, green onion, radishes and Jerusalem artichoke (native veggie).  I’m so glad I stumbled upon this gardening group.  They are a great group of people and although I may feel physically tired after three hours in the garden, I’m replenished in other ways.  In the afternoon, I started chipping away at the two cubic yards of mulch I had delivered, trying to tame my garden.

 

Sunday I made it out to Amherst for an orienteering event.  And I wasn’t the only one who made it out – the mosquitos apparently just hatched and before I was even on the course, my legs were swarming with mosquitos.  Luckily they had bug spray but even so, that night, I stopped counting how many bites I had – all over my legs only.  As I started the course I made a comment that “at least I’ll probably run more, to escape the mosquitos”.  Except I didn’t run as much as I thought I would.  It wasn’t until half way through that I realized why – the humidity.  It always sneaks up on me, especially when it’s only in the late 70s/80s.  The bummer is though, the next day, I was checking the final results and found that I had come in second – not too bad.  My goal is to place in single digits (coming in 9^th or less).  And usually I’m happy with my spot, but that’s usually because those who got done before me, did so in a fraction of my time.  Except, this time, I came in second, only 80 seconds behind the first person (with a total time of about 75 minutes).  So if only I had picked up my pace a little – ugh.  Not a bad place to be in though – seeing my improvement of the years.  I did realize that this season I will be attending my 50^th orienteering event I think.

 

On my way back to Boston, I swung by and had a nice visit with my old neighbors who are doing well. And on Monday, I enjoyed Memorial day with a bit of recovery from all the physical activity, more work in the garden, and an addition.  I picked up two concrete bird baths from craigslist.  I put one in the middle of the rhododendron bush in the front yard and still need to move the other one to the back yard.  By the time I cleaned out the one in the front yard and filled it up with fresh water, I was done for the day.  Wallis and I hung out in the living room watching out the front window to see if the birds liked the new addition.  No luck.  Apparently it takes a few days for them to find it and start using it.  Hopefully they will.

 

What was crazy, was that by Monday evening, I should have been exhausted, and crashing early, but instead, found I was carrying on my new habit of trying to get ahead of things.  I was ticking through my chore list to a point I had to say enough, I need to go to bed.  It was great though – I woke up Monday and had a clean house and everything in order as if I was having company over or going on vacation.

 

Speaking of vacation, I’m looking forward to my upcoming trip to Sweden this summer and visiting up north, past the arctic circle, to the land of the midnight sun.  I’ve already started figuring out what to pack (which is half the fun).  My big quandary was on the cat front.  Having lost Webster suddenly last month (hidden heart condition), Wallis and I have been adjusting to life without him.  I think for both of us, we really have been enjoying our snuggles with each other, but there is still a hole.  Not to say I want to replace Webster, but both Wallis and I miss having another cat around.  I’m a bit worried about leaving her on her own (with a cat sitter of course) and her feeling lonely, less secure and maybe abandoned.  I started looking into adopting a buddy.  And through my research and reaching out to friends, talking to my vet, etc. I’ve landed on the best option – two new kittens.  The reasoning is that it’s easier to introduce a kitten to an adult cat (not all adult cats get along together) but that a kitten has a different level of energy than the cat and this can cause issues, so best to get two kittens that can keep each other entertained when Wallis has had enough. 

 

It's basically what I did with Winston, adopted Wallis and Webster as kittens and everyone got along great.  So fingers crossed the same happens this time round.  I do feel like Wallis is really bored and even though I will play with her, it’s not exactly what she is looking for and she wants more.  I reached out to my friend who hooked me up with Wallis and Webster who were a little of a boot-leg acquisition and she connected me with a rescue organization she volunteers.  There is a litter of kittens I have been patiently waiting for them to be big enough to adopt and just got word Monday night that I’ll be able to visit them Sunday 6/9 and if all goes well, take them home that day.  I chose the two black boys since they are bonded together so it’s nice to keep them adopted together, black kittens are harder to place, and boy kittens are easier to introduce to a girl cat.  They are currently named Goober and Milk Dud (their mother is Jellybean and they have two sisters: Jujube and Raisinette) but I have a list of potential “W” names, keeping with tradition, to consider as I get to know their personalities.  Needless to say, I can’t wait but am also anxious it all goes well.  Before, I didn’t have any time to think – I arrived at my god-son’s graduation, wallis and webster needed homes, I was just starting to think about adopting another cat, and I took them home that night.  No time to worry it would go well. 

 

This weekend, more gardening, mulching and enjoying our last weekend together, just the two of us, with Wallis.

 

External Deadline

With everything going on, I've been working on clearing out my to do list so the month of May is pretty low demand. And wow, having a deadline really works on things that can be put off until tomorrow. I came across the concept of your future self last year. When you agree to doing something that is in the future it doesn't seem so bad, because the future is so undefined, but then you end up piling on more than you should have. This year I've not only been working on putting myself first more (for example a few weeks back, I kept snoozing and missed when I should have gone to the gym.  Normally I would have skipped the gym and marched on to work. Instead, I said me first and got into work only a little late but was so much more efficient.). So not only have I been working on putting myself first but also I've been keeping my future self in mind too. And putting my future self first too. 

It's amazing how many little things I crank through because I don't want them to pile up for tomorrow me. It's a real change in reframing things for me. On the bigger items, I cranked through a whole bunch of items: got my muffler system replaced, vet visit, heating system tune up.  And I feel like a handful of other items I can't remember. It feels good (although maybe not on the wallet all at once, but I've been saving up) to have them all taken care of, especially since some have been long overdue (you could hear me coming for quite awhile with the muffler I had). 

Now I can't say it's all just me thinking of things differently, but that helps. Two other things have helped. I built in more social/outdoor activities on the weekends. Now instead of being a home body, I have a nice mix for me, of getting out and about and relaxing time at home. My orienteering started up last weekend. And I didn't do too bad for not being able to run. And I've been enjoying my new vegetable garden cooperative I joined. Next weekend we'll be starting in the garden, up until now it's been seedling work. 

The other thing is exercise. I feel like I've finally made it past a tipping point, after two and a half years of working on this. I've been on again, off again going to the gym. But I keep persisting.  "Tomorrow is a new day" thinking and trying to start over again, and again and again. This year I had been getting back into more of a regular visit and with some of the exercise restrictions after surgery, I found myself itching to get back into the gym. I'm still on week 2 of the couch to 5k program, but am feeling like I'm making headway. And I miss it when I don't get in my work out. I'm hoping once I get my aerobic exercise habit in place, I'll work on more regular stretching and strength training.

Both things really help put fuel in my engine so I'm more productive, better frame of mind and therefore better sleep. And of course, my eating is so much healthier than three years ago. On a side note, when I switched my diet and really focused on healthier foods, I did something similar for my cats and switched their diet to a higher quality food. Unfortunately, lesson learned, the food, although much better and higher protein, less grain, causes lots of problems in cats and poor Webster is suffering urinary issues. Hence the vet visits. He's not out of the woods yet, but hopefully I caught it early enough. Anyways, I'm switching their food back to a more balanced diet for cats.  And here I thought I was being a good mommy. There's just so much information out there to sift through. 

So all in all, doing well and enjoying the little moments, like on Sunday when I was near then end of my orienteering course, I came across a loud sound.  At first I thought it was a flock of wild turkeys just on the other side of the ridge but as I got closer I realized the sound was coming from the bit of swampy pond - it was a cacophony of bull frogs...I think. I paused in my journey to stare and try to spot at least one fog but nothing.  I stared and stared and it was just calm water and piles of leaves on the banks and no movement and yet I was surrounded by the almost deafening sound of the frogs. It was surreal and isn't that what makes life wonderful. 

Charity Bag Sale Lessons for Next Time

Be forewarned, this is mainly a dump of thoughts for my future self. This morning I was on the fence of stopping by my local consignment clothing store for a brown bag sale event. Fill a brown bag for $20. First I had just swung by earlier this month, still in search for some pants that fit my current size and didn't feel there was much I was interested in. I only have two pairs of pants for work and two pairs of jeans that fit right now. Which on a side note is totally doable but do see my work clothes getting worn out quicker. 

I was caught up with a side project I started last night - experimenting with video making on my phone and this morning, before I knew it, it was after 9 and the event started at 9:30. Part of me was like, "there won't be anything that good and last time I went, their sale section in the basement was pretty picked over."  But then my other voice was like, "it's good to get out and the plan was to go to the gym and then the sale, but since I was behind schedule, I'll just switch it."  

And when I pulled up to the parking lot, I was glad I went, if nothing else, just for the experience. There were about 20-30 women waiting outside the door. And there was a buzz in the air. I was chatting wth another lady and for a moment thought I had to pay up front to get through the door.  I wasn't sure about that, since I wasn't sure I'd find anything, but then, 100% of the proceeds go to a good cause, a local charity that sounded really neat. Turns out, no entrance fee, and I was in. 

They had closed off half the store and there were literally piles of clothes every where - on benches and the floor and bins - to just sift through. It was strange and daunting at first, and very crowded, but being a hunter for a good deal I got into it. Everyone was friendly and I made a few friends through the process.  One woman was admiring a cardigan I was trying on and I realized it was nice but not for me and I gave it to her and then she kept trying on something and if it was too small gave it to me. 

Here are my notes for next time - tips and tricks:

1. Wear leggings.  I was going to go to the gym after so was dressed in gym gear - happy accident. There are no changing rooms so I ended up trying on pants over my gym leggings. I was the only one trying on pants.  

2. No Layers. I kept carrying my jacket and zipper sweatshirt and a few times I put them down to try something on people would pick them up thinking they were for sale. Just wear a t-shirt and leggings. Something thin and tight so you can try things in over. 

3. Consider slip on shoes. I kept taking my sneakers on and off for trying on pants. Not too big an issue and ok for next time, but would be easier if I just had loafers or something. Good to have socks in case trying on shoes. 

4. Leave valuables in car. I had zipped the pockets, but really, I should have left my wallet and keys in the car and just carried my cash and car key in my pocket in my pants. 

5. Guard your pile.  I thought I was doing a good job of keeping an eye on my stuff. I lugged it around the whole time but occasionally, put stuff down to try stuff on and try to glimpse myself in the mirror - not many mirrors. I realized later in the day at home, a few things I tried on and planned to get disappeared. A navy thin cardigan that would have been nice, but I'm ok with losing.  But there was a pair of Vince khakis I was excited that fit that I realize now disappeared and now I'm bummed out. I don't think anyone purposely raided my stuff - they just didn't realize it was claimed.  By the end, I tried stuff on, and kept my bag between my legs for higher security. 

6. Bring a bag. I noticed one lady had a diaper bag that she put clothes into. This might be an idea to help contain the pile and keep your arms free. The brown bag got beat up quickly. Consider bringing my 10,000 villages burlap bag next time. 

7. Know European Sizes. There was a great mix of European based clothing and shoes. What's my shoe size and what's my pant size were the two big questions. 

8. Know your weaknesses. I was very proud of what I didn't walk out the door with. I kept finding myself keeping myself in check. Here's a few of my rules I kept with:

- No skirts - I don't wear them and I have a bunch already. No additions.

- No jackets - I did try a few on but in the end reminded myself I already feel like I have too many and it's hard to wear them all. Any new jacket would need to kick a jacket out of my closet. 

- Be careful of projects - I did get one project. A pair of dark linen pants I've been looking for for two years. That are several sizes too big. I'm going to try to take them in. This was my one sewing exception. 

- Color - I found a few things I loved the cut and fit but just wasn't my color. I was honest with myself.

- Cut - all the sweaters I picked up, I love the necklines. I tried on some v-necks and they just weren't as good.  

- Size - since everything was all over the place there was a lot of slightly too big and too small finds. One pair of really cool shoes fit but I think were a half size too small. Even so, it took me having them on for a little while to come to terms that they didn't really fit. 

- Duplicates - I was tempted with a few things I already had. There was a cashmere turtleneck that was nice but I already have three and don't feel like I've gotten enough wear out of them this year - no need for a fourth. Same with cardigans. 

- Focus on Work Clothes - right now, in general I have more weekend clothes than I need so shouldn't be bringing home anymore casual wear and if I do they have to be nicer than what I own already since I'll need to get rid of something. 

- Sets - there was one pair of high waisted pants that fit well that I figured I try as an experiment. I had been considering high waisted for awhile due to my long torso.  There was a blazer that went with the pants but it didn't fit that great - was a little oversized. Which could totally have worked, if I live in NYC, and worked in a funky job. It took me awhile to be ok leaving the jacket behind. In other news, it wasn't until I got home I realized I accidentally bought another set - I think it's the same pants and blazer. Same brand and color - the material is slightly off but don't think you can tell. I found the two pieces in completely separate rooms at different times. 

- Shoes - I was extra careful and only looked for shoes I could walk a lot in. I found a pair of tall boots that were super comfortable but just wasn't my style I realized. I was good and let them go. 

- Quality - I did end up buying two fast fashion items (a nice merino wool sweater from j crew and a pair of leggings from banana republic), but otherwise I kept with higher end, good quality materials. I got two Theory items and a Vince cashmere cardigan, that alone are each $150 full price. Ugh, if only I held onto those Vince khakis. One item I had noticed in my earlier visit to the store was a purple label Ralph Lauren cashmere sweater. The store was selling it for $148 (which means it's likely $300). I found it early on and couldn't believe it. It's so comfy. I made sure to look for stains, holes, snags, but at the same time looked past things I could take care of. For example a few of the sweaters had a few pilling situations (nothing much) which I can easily take care of and give a second life. 

8. Open Minded. At first I didn't think there would be a problem of overfilling the bag. I'd find a piece or two and get a good deal and support a good cause. I picked up a lot of different-for-me-items, and considered them. A different type print shirt (too large in the end). A lot of the items I considered, didn't make the cut, but glad I wasn't narrowly focused on just pants of a certain cut/style which is what I really wanted. I think I would have quickly been frustrated not finding them. In the end I accidently found just what I was looking for that I'd happily have paid $50. So everything else was icing on the cake. 

9. Get There On Time and Stick Around. There were two times I thought I was done and then more bags of stuff were brought up. That's when I found the pants I was looking for and a few other items. So am glad I took my time. 

10. OK to be Imperfect. I was thinking, after all my decluttering and refining my wardrobe, what was I doing bringing home a bag full of clothes. And clothes I wasn't 100% sure on since I couldn't properly try them in or see myself in a mirror. In the end, after multiple cycles of going through the bag, I felt comfortable I was bringing home items on purpose. I was honest with myself that there were a few experiments in the bag but now was the price point to experiment. And I've learned if I key the item out as an experiment up front, I don't end up making the same purchasing mistake twice. Three of the pants are experiments (high waisted, legging like, need to take in), I picked up two skinny dressy belts (haven't worn belts in years), a French silk scarf to experiment (I think it's a real Chanel - the colors worked for me), two cardigans: one is a cashmere hoody - do I wear hoodies?  Am I too old for a hoody?  The other one I loved the cut and but wasn't sure about the color - it's an interesting shade of ligh gray/white, so need to experiment with other colors in the outfit.

11. Stick to One Bag. At one point, when more clothes were being brought out, I was getting into the territory of two bags. At first I thought, stick with one bag and then I was allowing myself to just get more and more. I stopped and really looked at my collection and whittled it down to my favorites. I was happy I stuck to one bag. 

12. Succes previously is no guarantee. I'm setting my expectations low for next time (if there is one). Sometimes you find stuff and sometimes you don't. I don't think I'll hit such a good haul again. But even so, it was a fun experience. One lady commented it was like what the Nordstrom basement special events used to be like. When I first moved to Boston I'd see people lined up in the morning for blocks to go to the wedding dress event. I had a fun time (not for everyone) and the hunt was as fun as the spoils. 

All in all, a wonderful haul.  I ended up donating a little extra because I got such good deals. It was $20 for the bag of clothes, I paid $30 (with the extra donation) and walked away with 16 items, so less than $2 each. Full price and new, I can confidently say over $2,000 of items. And full price but used, sold at the consignment store during regular hours, over $500 at least. I still love me a good deal, especially when it's for something I need and is of quality (I'm trying to move away from good deals but not for things I need or good quality). At the end, I was a bit more tired/worn out and picked up a few items because of the brand, if I'm honest with myself. I got a Chanel scarf (which i have been wanting to experiment with, but it's not high on the list), and some Gucci key chains (which I don't need and already am thinking of who I can gift them to/ sell). But on an upside, the Eileen fisher linen summer sweater I got in part because of the brand, turns out is a really good color for me when I tried it on again at home and am glad I got it. 

Now I'm off to do laundry, and a bunch of hand washing of these items. And depilling. And figuring out what stays and goes in my closet. I have a set number of coded hangers (hangers for Blazers, versus pants) and spaces for sweaters. So although I have room for a few additions, some of my items in my closet are getting bumped out as I slowly upgrade/switch out items. Oh, and on a final note, I logged all the items in my finance ledger of things I buy with the intent that at the end of the year I'll go back through what I bought and figure out what I wouldn't have bought again and use that to help inform future buying habits. This allows feedback loops on things I'm experimenting with. I did this last year and it was very insightful. 

New Year Resolutions

I've been slow to post because I was trying to find time to do a year in review and see how I did with last years resolutions before choosing this years ones. I haven't had a chance to dig into the data, but here's a high level recap. 

Books.  I wanted to read two books a month. At first I was behind, then I was ahead, at one point reading about one a week. And then I started work and it all fell off. Overall, I believe my final count for books read (completed only) was 20.  So not quite the target of 24, but close and considering the change in life situation not bad. The problem now is that with working, I used to do all my reading during my commute but now I drive. So my reading count is way down. 

2019 resolution.  I would like still work on targeting reading since I didn't get to where I wanted to be yet. My goal is twofold:

1. Read one book a month (12 total)

2. Track my books in and my books read. I can acquire more books but by years end, I have to have read at least the same amount I brought into the house. The goal is to reduce the amount of unread books laying around. 

Cookbooks. This one I didn't track but feel like I made progress. I didn't make a recipe from each book, but, I did end up taking out two cookbooks and donating them and have two more I'm about to let go of.  So it feels good cleaning the bookshelf out of just my prized cookbooks. On the recipes from magazines, I've really made a lot of headway - I've used a bunch and weeded through them again last month when I was reorganizing them and got through the of a bunch in a reality check. And as an added bonus, I've really been weeding down the recipes on Pinterest.  By trying out the recipes and also U pinning ones I realize aren't top priorities to try out. So overall, I didn't hit my numbers but feel like I've made progress. One aha moment I had was when I was organizing the magazine recipes and grouping them by category.  I made one category called "aspirational" recognizing that this wouldn't be a recipe I'd go to often but it was interesting and wanted to experiment in the kitchen. For example, making my own potstickers. 

2019 resolution. I'd like to keep the momentum going. I'm going to basically have the same resolution.

1. Make one recipe per cookbook and potentially let go of a few more books - reevaluate. 

2. Magazine recipes - have five per category to try max.  I have 8 categories, so that's 40. The 10 was not a good match, because I always like to experiment and not make the same stuff. 

3. Pinterest recipes. Really work on cleaning up what I have collected. Target having no more than 20 per board. 

3. FInancials. Ugh. I just lost what I wrote. Quick recap.  I went cash only for purchases and it changed my spending habits even more. Although challenging I feel even more in control of what I'm buying because I have to plan appropriately to have the cash on hand. I'm keeping with my monthly budget of $300 cash at the start of the month and I'm proud I've adjusted my habits.  It helps I have a clear focus on my priorities of financial independence and the ability to retire early if I want to.   No numbers bit on average less than one charge to plastic a month. 

Item two of limiting shopping at big box stores was the hardest but I feel the best about.  It's sad to see a monochromatic of options these days and losing the local colorful fabric of options.  Toiletries were the hardest to buy - I found a local five and dime store but then it went out of business. Overall, I had one/month of buying at a big box chain. My preference is to spend a little more time and money and support local businesses. 

Final item was limiting online purchases. This was the easiest and I avoided anything from Amazon. The few times I was forced to find the product online (because I couldn't find it at a brick and mortar), I reevaluated if I needed the item and decided I didn't. The one loophole was my wishlist for presents and even with this, if I sent something I knew was going to be purchased online I tried to send non Amazon links. 

Overall financials was a success and I'd still be interested in the final numbers so will hopefully pull them. I feel like my habits have changed and I'm on the right track. 

My 2019 New Years Resolutions are the two listed above - keep working on food and reading. And two more to do with my health. 

Run 5k. I've not figured out a good workout routine with work. Instead of just having a general resolution of working out more, I have the goal to run 5k. I've been using the couch to 5k program and have been on week 3 for a year!  This will hopefully be a good motivator and give me a milestone and sense of accomplishment. 

Culture/social event. As I work to keep a balanced work/life, I was thinking of what structure to put in place. My social life is dependent on invites I get and are very one sided. My goal is to reach out and arrange one per month social get together. Accepting invites from others doesn't count. And on the cultural front I feel like I should take advantage of everything in my backyard. And with the new job and having access to free and close (my two big obstacles often) events and museums I thought I would have done more. So my goal is one cultural event/month. 

And I'm happy to report progress already on these two fronts. I've reached out to a friend I haven't seen for awhile and we're scheduling something - probably for next month. And earlier this year I had put on my calendar several lecture series at the Fogg museum. The first one was yesterday at lunch and normally I would have bailed because I had too much to do, but I held firm and went. It was great and I was glad I attended. It was a gallery walk on "Intoduction to the Dark Arts: Ancient Egyptian Magic". I thought of mom and how she would have really enjoyed it. We spent most of the time discussing and exploring this one piece - what it depicted, the meaning behind the images and how it was used. The person leading the talk was an Egyptologist. I'd never heard of that term before. It was great fun learning about the hippo God (lower left figure) and what was missing from the tablet (there are places for text that would be the spell). 

Overall I feel on track for keeping a balanced and enriched life. It's amazing how the day to day demands can take over and you lose track of the important things.  So that's why I've recently adopted New Years Resolutions as a way for me to step back and evaluate what habits if like to change and what items I want to prioritize in my life. Here's to 2019!

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