And when it comes to the hamburger bun, again, this was just habit. I mean that's how you eat hamburgers right? You pick them up and eat them with a bun. I think I mostly miss the grains for the quick fill they provided. I feel like I am still figuring out my portions. I usually plate up my meal and that's it, no seconds. But now I'm not sure how much to plate. And I find if I'm cooking my vegetables, I need to eat a bigger portion. Although, there's nothing like raw vegetables to fill you up. I had a spinach salad last night and if I had cooked up the food first, I would have needed to eat at least three times more. But since I was eating it raw, a portion went farther. Strange that. And I did remember that often, I wasn't wild about hamburger buns. Often just cheap white bread which was nothing to write home about. And often the meat to bread ratio was off with too much bread.
I do find I miss the grains if only for their simplicity. I'm having to go grocery shopping a lot more often and of course it's more expensive to buy meat and fresh produce than rice or bread. I was going to say grains are also easier to cook, but I'm taking that back. I still am getting used to my meals coming together quicker than before. It doesn't take that long to cook the meat and veggies compared to whole grains. And the prep time isn't that much. Although there is a lot more to clean up it seems.
Up until yesterday, it's been nice and cool weather which has been making things easy - made it a non-issue to be in the kitchen. I think I'm going to have to start bulk cooking more - in the cool mornings, so I can just zap things or eat a cold meal. Know thyself.
I do still have a hankering for the sweet. I sometimes find myself half thinking of bing eating some kind of dessert. Kind of like "when I get out of this joint, I'm buying myself a cake and eating the whole thing in one sitting". Which I know I won't do but again the sweet tooth is putting up a fight. I think it's mainly because up until now I've been protecting myself, and not putting myself in situations where there is easy access to sweets and a social expectation. But I have two social events coming up - heading up to NH for Father's Day and a big BBQ next week. This weekend it's more about just watching the ingredient list. I'm still amazed how sugar sneaks into dishes. I've offered to cook a meal or two which will help, except I need to figure out what to make. Up until now, I've not been making anything fancy - just cooking up the food - no combinations or seasonings. Like I'll have cooked chicken, cooked cauliflower and cooked spinach and just top with salt and pepper. Anyways, it's family so they are understanding and it should be fine. I'm just really want to make it the full 30 days without sugar.
Oh - I did consume a tiny amount of non-compliant food the other day - sunflower oil. I had some bottled roasted red peppers in the pantry. I was getting low on ingredients to consume. Sunflower oil sounds healthy, but I guess it isn't that wholesome. Something about processing the oil from the seeds. It was just what the peppers were bottled in along with water so a small amount. I think I'm fine and didn't really notice any effect.
I'm not sure if my sleeping has leveled out yet. I'm having no trouble going to sleep but the dreaming. I wake up each morning aware that I had a lot of dreams. And not always light and happy dreams. I know it's a way for the brain to work through things so maybe that's what that is. I rarely remember them but do remember I had them. As a result I do feel like I am as rested. I don't necessarily feel like I need a mid-day nap but do go to bed early. I've been trying to get into the habit of brushing my teeth after dinner. Instead of waiting until just before bed. Just before bed for means I'm tired and want to go bed. And don't want to spend time flossing or washing my face or any of it. Know thyself, so I pushed up my bedtime routine so I can get it all done and done well. But then I have the association of getting ready for bed and then going to sleep. So I'll feel tired earlier than I'm really tired I think. But since I don't have the "maybe I'll have dessert later", I can do all that at 7 or 8. It's a new pattern I'm trying. We'll see how it goes.
I do feel like I'm at a good ground zero (other them the sugar cravings). I was thinking about my energy the other day and I have to admit I have tons more energy than I did a month ago. I think I was expecting a sudden change and going into a manic level of energy. Which sounds bad to have actually. I guess that is what I associated with the term tiger blood. Instead, I have a nice steady, relatively high level of energy. It kind of snuck up on me.
I'm not getting as much done because of mental stuff. I do this thing where I have to get x and y done before I can do other stuff. But if I'm stuck and don't want to do x or y, I just don't do anything. Because, I have to do those first. It's somewhat paralizying. For me, I'm needing to finish up some projects before my garage sale, so I can figure out what to let go of. This translates to one, my dining room taken over with frames and art and supplies to mat and hang - about twenty items, big and small. I've been chipping away, but sometimes, it's not quite right, and I take a break to figure out what to do, and then get stuck. Perftionism and indescision. I finally checked out something to listen to while I work - a book on tape from my online library and barreled through. So,e pieces look great, others, not quite. But I figure, up they go and I can upgrade them later once I'm all done. And cycle back.
Two, my living room is taken over with four big bins of stuff. And several boxes. Half of it is all my fabric and stuffing and sewing supplies. I have too much fabric and need to get rid of some. I figured I'd just map out my sewing projects (ie, use this fabric to make pillows for the bench), and off load the rest in the garage sale. But this also means figuring out color schemes for my rooms. My bedroom is good - I love the paint color, but I'm still trying to figure out colors for my back room and middle room. And that means I'm going around in circles. I bought the fabric for projects that have since morphed or I changed my mind, but I still like the fabric. I just don't know where to use it. And so I have a lot of fabric that is a "maybe one day" which is not the Marie Kondo way. I was good at the beginning of the year, honing my skill of deciding what to keep, but realized I'd fallen back into my old ways. As I was looking for a book on tape to listen to, I saw I could also check out Kondos second book so have been reading that which is a good reinforcement of the healthier way of thinking.
The other bunch of bins and boxes are from when I did the tidying up and going through everything a few months back. These were the maybe stuff that I had trouble letting go of, but didn't spark a ton of joy. Or they were things I decided to let go of, but wanted to photograph. Like sentimental items from my past or knitting books that I wanted to scan one pattern. I just need to buckle down and go through them all and be done. That's why I put them in the middle of my living room. But as a result it's an eyesore. Writing about all this is energizing me to finally just get it done.
And that's the nice thing, I have the energy. The energy to stay with a project until it's done and hopefully the energy to push through the mental blocks. It's hard to push forward when you have low physical energy on top of mental energy being zapped.
I've been meaning to write up some notes and realizations I had from when I was first going through all my stuff with the Marie Kondo method. I should hunt up the notes and share them. That would also help me get my thinking back on track. Habits die hard I'm finding. You can't change things over night. Practice.
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