The two downsides right now, is one, having to keep the fridge constantly full of fresh produce. Which, after writing it doesn't sound like a bad thing, just annoying. I feel like I'm constantly going to the store and to be honest, yesterday, I just didn't really want to go, yet again. And two, the dreams. I'm waking up with such vivid and tiring dreams. Clearly influenced by what I watched or listened to or read the day before. But no different than what I was exposed to a month before. I guess the brain fog not only lifted during the day but also at night too.
I think I'm going to start measuring my sleep patterns with my fitbit and see how often the dreams effect my sleeping. And my cats. This morning I was somewhat awake when Webster started trying to subtly wake me up to be fed. Now Winston, back in his day, had no subtliness about him. The moment I started to come out of a deep sleep he would start to meow and destroy things to get me out of bed. Webster on the other hand, is equally driven but more devious. This morning I was wake enough to experience him walking over me and pawing at my sheets to get up. I'm starting to think he does this when I'm asleep and don't know he's doing it. So when I am finally waking up, he's all innocent just hanging out by my feet waiting for me to wake up.
On the upside there are quite a few things. I love not having the brain fog. I can't say I knew I had brain fog before, but when it has lifted you notice it. I don't feel so dulled. I didn't experience tiger blood energy but then again I associate that term with manic energy which honestly isn't that healthy. But I do feel like I have the good kind of energy, I'm not dulled. I have a nice level of energy. And I realized I do get tired, but that's normal. You exert yourself, you will get tired. But now it's from doing stuff and not because I ate breakfast. And of course mental stress can still make you tired. I've only cleared up the physical aspect. But man, it's nice having a healthier body.
And that leads to the third thing, I feel so much healthier, and I like my body much better now. I should clarify that I've been lucky and not really dealt with body image issues. I always had a target weight but it was to gain some pounds so people wouldn't make comments and I could blend in. I had a good metabolism after all which let me eat whatever. But middle age hit and I finally got to that target weight after two decades. This was about five years ago. And now, more recently, the number seems to be climbing pretty quickly. I started to feel like my skin I was in was changing and not reflecting who I was accustomed to. I do want to age gracefully but I felt like this last year I was packing on the pounds pretty quickly and all in the belly/thigh area. I was becoming self conscious in most of my outfits that things were showing off the belly.
I can't really tell if I lost any inches, but I feel like I did. And that's the important part. I really feel like my belly is normal. It's not flat like my pre-middle age days, but that's normal. I really should have taken some measurements before I started all this. I am curious about my weight, but am sticking to the rules and waiting. Plus my scale is buried in my closet so it's not that easy to get to.
I'm really curious to find out what foods are attributed to what improvements. Is it dairy that makes me bloated? Or is it the sugar that packs on the pounds? Is it the grains that give me fog brain and effect my energy? I hope it's not too complicated to figure out. Reading lately, I am so much more aware of sugar and it's effects. I mean, I was brought up in a pretty low sugar family. We didn't get candy or soda except on special occasions and not a ton of desserts. Our meals were home made and not a lot of package foods chock full of sugars. I hated it then but am so appreciative of it now. Shout out to the parents. So I knew sugar wasn't a good thing, but then I think as I grew up, and saw everyone else eating sugar en masse, and found it was socially acceptable, and sooo delicious, why not eat cake for breakfast? But that's the thing. I didn't eat cake for breakfast. I ate a "normal" amount of sugar, relative to everyone else. And there in lays the trap.
This has really opened up my eyes to sugar, in case you haven't noticed in all these posts. I never thought I could give up sugar. I love baked goods and desserts. I thought people were so. Strange when they said they cut sugar out of their diet. Why give it up? And that's the thing, I have absolutely no intention of giving it up. I'll be darned if I'm not having cake on my birthday. But that's the thing. Many cultures eat sugar on special occasions, not part of their daily life. When I go to Paris, I'm eating french pasties. And maybe every day I'm there. I'm having sticky buns for Christmas morning - it's tradition. I've had them every christmas since I could eat.
What I learned is that when you start to get hungry, it's your sweet tooth that activates first. So no more snacks that feed the sweet tooth. If I'm hungry, I'm eating a meal. And no more eating sweets because they are there. I'm not having that pastry in the bake room that was bought at the corner store and isn't that great, especially compared to the paris version. I'm eating quality sweets. No store bought crappy birthday cakes. Only quality stuff. And last but not least, I'm not eating secret sugar. Sugar that is sneaked into food to make it taste better by the food manufacturers. This is not an absolute because frankly I'm finding it impossible to find food that is sugar free. Like mustard, I think my mustard had sugar in it so I had to box it up. Why does mustard need sugar? But I'm going to be a lot more conscious of it, which leads to me to my plan for next month.
I'm going to start a sugar journal. Nothing fancy, just keeping track of what foods I eat that have sugar each day and approximately how much. I feel like I've been learning how not to eat sugar on sugars terms, but on my terms. Not to eat a dessert because my sweet tooth is telling me to or out of habit, but because I want the dish regardless of the sugar. Plus I feel like I'm still on the rocky road to recovery and this will help lessen my likelihood of falling off the wagon. Oh, and I really don't think I'll be adding back into my diet, drinking liquid sugar. So many of my drinks had sugar and in such high doses. Ive been a little lax on my daily water intake, but I find I don't miss the juices that much. I did almost have lemonade last weekend. After we finished the course at the orienteering event, I went to get some water and noticed they had a cooler of lemonade too. Out of habit I almost reached for it. But you know what, water was so much better then when I was thirsty. And there is no question water is good for you. So more water drinking!
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